We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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