whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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