just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize