No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
