Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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