Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
