Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
