So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Drake has all the answers
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
