he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize