I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
