not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
