Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
