he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize