I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
