dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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