So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
