youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
