Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
