uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
