Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
