im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize