Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
