R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
