WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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