She announced her abortion via fbk
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize