cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
