i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I had to cum in my sink.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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