I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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