So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
