im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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