Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
