kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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