Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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