508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
