O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
