I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
