I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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