but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
