I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
just found out that she named her cat after me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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