how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
