need another drink. this is the easiest way
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Someone signed my nipple.
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