Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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