So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
