Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
