Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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