i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
