I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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