ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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