end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
