We're like a lot better than the average bears
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
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The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
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I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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