Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
