Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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