i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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