nut hugger
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
