i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
