Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize