How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
