yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
